Tuesday, January 20, 2009


My sister is 13 years my senior. Her two girls are 10 years apart. Then I went changed the pattern by having my girls only 3 years apart.

Growing up, I hated my sister being that much older. I really didn't care much for her most of the time, she was just a mean teenager in my mind... she was married by the time I was 7. I really hated when she would come home for visits and get all of my attention. She redeemed herself finally by having a baby when I was 13... that was a good thing. I didn't mind that sweet girl getting some of my attention... (and that she did, I only thought my sister took my mom's attention... that was nothing compared to the first grandchild) I had to get a whole lot older to appreciate my sister!

I swore when I had a family that I would never have kids that were so far apart that they are raised like only children like we were. Now I think I can see the up side to that!

One of my best friends and her sister are only 4 or 5 years apart and they love each other so. I wanted kids like that. I can only pray that's how the story will turn out because right now it couldn't be further from that.

My girls are going through a phase that may possibly kill one of us. They fight ALL the time. Wait, they do occasionally quit fighting long enough to share some deep conversation, like what is coming on Disney channel or other important life issues like that. But then it's right back to hitting, yelling, oh, the yelling! It never ends.

They fight over anything and everything. They fight over which cup they want, socks, clothes, who goes first, last, who's petting who's dog, who does what better than the other, who got more fries in their order, on and on. The list is never ending.
Individually they are both great kids. Both are sweet, funny and really enjoyable. Together they are making me crazy.

I have talked. and talked. and talked about how to be better to your sister. We have done Bible studies about family and relationships together, we talk about how we can solve the problem. They apologize, hug, walk away and begin fighting about something new.

I have thought about resigning.
Then I spend some individual time with them and am reminded of just how sweet they are. Just not to each other. I know how blessed we are as a family and try to focus on that but it's starting to make me a little cranky.
I can only hope that this season in our family will pass QUICKLY. Please.

Makes you want to come stay at my house doesn't it?

Please, come, talk to me but don't yell or fight. I need it.


neecie said...

My boys are 4 1/2 yrs apart and I am dealing with the same thing. They fight over who has the dogs attention, who is playing the Wii, if one of them is looking at the other one too much. Most days just drive me crazy. We tell them all the time that someday they may only have one another and that is it so they need to atleast respect one another. We always make them hug, look each other in the eye and say, "Brothers forever, brothers for life." I know they hate us for this now but I hope someday it means something. I'm feeling your pain.

Jennifer said...

I'm the opposite of you - because I'm 13 years older than my sister - and thankfully we have a great relationship and she still thinks I'm pretty cool. Though I believe both of us currently find the other a bit "weird" these days. (o:

I definitely don't envy your current situation with the girls. I think a lot of siblings fight. Maybe you could lock them up parent-trap style where they're forced to finally get along or something. Then again, that's my non-motherness talking and could be a horrible suggestion.

Debbie said...

I am an only child but my husband is one of five. He and his siblings are all very close now and he assures me they fought like crazy when they were growing up. That makes me feel better.

Anonymous said...

go to your school library, check out Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, read the last chapter. giggle then read the whole thing.
one of my favorites to read at the beginning of the year and then refer to it during the year. :)
your OSE friend, and jennifers too