Monday, April 13, 2009

How the adoption story ended....

Last summer I posted about having gotten the information about my birth mother. I know all my friends and family know how this ended but I've had a couple of people stumble across my blog and then email me and ask what I did....so...

After praying about it for a few days I decided I would write to her.

I stressed in my letter that I really wanted nothing from her, did not mean to upset her and any contact was completely up to her. I expained that I really just wanted to thank her and hoped it didn't upset her. I explained that since I have had children I couldn't imagine the sacrafice she made. I didn't offer any information about myself. I decided if she wanted to know any details she would have to ask. I did pray for her daily after mailing that letter.
About a week later I recieved a letter back from her.

She said she had several sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do since my letter. She indicated that she had hoped this would never happen and thought the records were sealed. She went on to explain that due to her 'life' she really didn't want any contact and she hoped that didn't hurt me.

In the original birth certificate I had seen that she was in her earily twenty's when she had me. My parents had been under the impression that she was a teenager, so this was my first suprise.

Second surprise, she told me in the letter that she had gone on the marry my birth father. That they went on to live a very happy, full life, traveled the world and that he had died a couple of years ago.

I didn't quite know what to make of that info.... I realize being an unwed mother in 1964 was frowned upon but they were certaily old enough to have a child...and since they went on to marry anyway.... one would think they would wonder what happened to their child....
Guess not.

So, in the end, I did feel a little rejected again, but I don't regret doing it and I did exactly what I set out to do.
I thanked her.
And leave it to my cousin Gina to sum it up with, "well, thank God she didn't keep you, she must be a selfish B****". She reminded me that I am in just the right crazy, southern family!

4 comments:

neecie said...

I had been wondering about this. I think you handled the situation correctly. I know there had to be some disappointment for you but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it is all apart of God's plan and I am sure your cousin is right, you are where you are supposed to be!

Jennifer said...

I am wondering how I missed this story last summer.....I had to go back and read it to get caught up. (o:

Her response to you almost baffles me. Yet I think your cousin had it right with the selfish part most definitely. I'm glad the Lord placed you right where He wanted you with a very unselfish and loving mother who wanted YOU.

Suz said...

Thank you for posting. To me, as a mom through adoption, it gave me chill bumps as a confirmation that God had His hand on you from the very, very beginning and placed you in His chosen family for you!

I'm sorry you felt again rejected, but I pray that it will lead you to see God's Hand of provision over you.

I know we're not a perfect family, no one is, but I DO know that we'll provide a much healthier environment for our son to grow in than his birth family would have. And I know that he'll come to know about Jesus and His love.

I'm always interested to hear the stories of adults who as kids were adopted.

Do you always think of yourself as adopted? To me, my kids are just my kids no matter how they came to be. I wonder if they'll always feel that way too??

Thank you for visiting my blog!

Sniz said...

Haven't been here for a while. Love your background! Anyway, this post has had my thoughts swirling. What wisdom and maturity it took for you to deal with this.